I love my grandma, well who doesn't love their grandmas, right? The reason why I love my grandma is because I think she's one of the glues in my mom's side of the family. The whole extended family would gather every once in awhile to celebrate her birthday or to celebrate Chinese New Year together, although again, she's just one of the reasons, but I like to think that she is the main reason. I never knew my grandpa, her husband because he passed away long before I was born and from what I've heard from my mom and sisters, he was great man and I would've love to spend time with him. That's why I feel like a connection on some level with my grandma, I always love the stories of her and grandpa and what stories they were but unfortunately, these past years, I couldn't hear that stories anymore.
My grandma has been developing this forgetful state to some level that she always asks me the same questions over and over again everytime she comes to visit. And the most sad part about my grandma is her paranoia of death that has been looming over her in the past years. Ever since my uncle passed away, she always gets afraid of being alone and just the notion of dying scared the crap out of her, to the point that I can see the fear in her eyes. I remember she asked me to sleep by her side and everytime I thought she fell asleep and tried to leave the room, she would just wake up and told me to stay. And now, she's in the hospital and to be honest, it doesn't look good (she's 91 years old, by the way). I would be so sad if she pass away but to be more honest, I wouldn't be that sad if that happens, not because I'm a bad guy or anything, it's just it kinda torn me apart to see her acting the way she was acting all this time, always scared, always paranoid, I want her to be happy, I want her to just enjoy her life. I want her to get better, of course but if she pass away, to me, at least she can rest. That doesn't make me a bad person, right?
Let's just move on, okay? Let's talk about my Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare walkthrough videos. So, yesterday, I managed to get two videos on Infinite Warfare on my YouTube Channel even though I wasn't feeling good at all, hoping to get some views out of them because, well, it's Call of Duty but noooooo, all I got were 4 and 7 views out of them. That's I'm holding to make the third and fourth videos altogether, I wanna see if the views are up then I'll upload more but if not then fuck it, I won't upload the damn thing. The thing that bugs me the most about the low views was that those were video games, people in Youtube watch video games gameplay/walkthrough all the time. It sucks, man. Sucks bad but I'll link the videos here, so hopefully, you guys can check it out. Please check it out.
On the binary options update, I'm getting good at trading binary but I think I'm going to deposit next week instead of this week, just because I feel a lot better if I can start the trade on Monday, just this OCD thing I have.
I think I'm going to end this blog right here. Please check out my Youtube videos and if you are in Youtube, subscribe, comment and like.